


Hal: Pester "Dirk"

by Corvid_Knight



Series: Earth C Shenanigans [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Gen, Strider Feels, alternate striders, my tumblr is knight-of-heart-and-art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:14:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvid_Knight/pseuds/Corvid_Knight
Summary: Hal doesn't always read the full chumhandle when he's messaging Dirk about technical issues. Davesprite is willing to listen anyway.





	Hal: Pester "Dirk"

artificialIntellect [AI] started pestering avianiteTurning [AT] 

AI: Dirk.  
AI: As much as I hate to admit that you might have been even slightly right about anything, I have a problem.  
AI: Possibly with the body. And before you point out that you weren't the one who built the body, I'm aware of that fact. The only reason I'm not going to Roxy is that there's roughly an equal chance that it's something in my programming malfunctioning, in which case you're the most qualified one to rectify it.  
AI: Of course it might be a matter of the body's interface with my software, in which case I guess I'm fucked. No offense, but we triple-checked to make sure there wasn't any major interference, and you're sure as hell not going to find any if we didn't.  
AI: Anyway. I think you might have to disconnect me from the body. I'm experiencing what I think qualify as visual and semi-tactile hallucinations during my charging cycle. Specifically when I power down.  
AI: I don't want to lose my body, but...if it's fucking up my mind, I don't know what else to do.  
AI: Dirk, I know you read at a merely human rate, but can you at least say something? Because otherwise I'm going to continue talking nervously at you and say something monumentally idiotic, and I don't think either of us wants that. 

AT: yeah im not actually dirk dude 

AI: ...  
AI: ...oh.  
AI: Fuck.  
AI: Davesprite.  
AI: My apologies for spamming you with panicked ramblings. Your name's right next to Dirk's in my contacts and I guess I went for the first active orange one. 

AT: no youre fine  
AT: what do you mean hallucinations though? like dreams or what  
AT: powering down is like sleeping for you right 

AI: Um. Close enough. It's not exactly like that but in terms of inactive brain cells and inactive circuits it's almost analogous.  
AI: Although I don't dream. That's an organic thing. 

AT: you sure about that 

AI: Of course I'm sure.  
AI: Besides, these can't be dreams. They're.  
AI: Mostly remixes of bad memories or completely nonsensical scenarios. 

AT: hal what the fuck do you think dreams are 

AI: Not that? 

AT: theyre dreams  
AT: you dont need to panic over it even if it does suck half the time 

AI: I can't be dreaming.  
AI: I'm not human enough for that. It would require a ridiculous amount of idle processing power working without my direction or—  
AI: Wait.  
AI: Oh, shit. 

AT: how about you elaborate on whatever revelation you just had  
AT: share it with the class 

AI: Roxy added significant processing power spread out in several locations throughout my body.  
AI: I couldn't master fine motor skills and proper balancing otherwise. 

AT: understandable  
AT: hal i dont know shit about how youre put together but if you say you have an extra brain in your chest im just gonna believe it 

AI: It's not an extra brain. More like a decentralized nervous system. Except not.  
AI: You know what, forget trying to fit it into biology. I have added processing power, it's designed to direct movement instead of thought...and apparently when it's idle it replays shit like my memory of being switched on for the first time or when Dirk fucking killed himself with me halfway-jacked into his brain. 

AT: ouch 

AI: Would complaining about the fairness or lack thereof of this situation be enough to make you ditch me? 

AT: im not planning to quit answering you if thats what youre asking  
AT: but hey at least you know whats going on now right 

AI: Oddly enough, I feel like that's not going to help all that much. I mean, I was hoping Dirk would know how to turn it off, and now I doubt that's going to happen.  
AI: Which means I still have to work out how to handle them. 

AT: theyre bad? 

AI: Very.  
AI: The worst part is coming all the way online and not knowing where I am for a minute. Or who I am, if that makes sense. 

AT: yeah no it does make sense  
AT: to me at least  
AT: you feel like dirk or like you at a different time? 

AI: Yes!  
AI: Except the time doesn't exist, and the version of me I feel like I am never existed, and I'm terrified and I don't know why. 

AT: yeah  
AT: youre still living by yourself right 

AI: Yes. That's basically the best course, even if it's. Well. Boring? Lonely?  
AI: Damn, look at me being a whiny bitch.  
AI: Anyway, I can't handle living with Dirk, Roxy and Jane have their own things going, and I don't like how Dave flinches sometimes when he comes into a room he forgot I was in. So yeah, I'm solo. 

AT: how open would you be to a roommate

AI: Very open.  
AI: ...I'm lonely. Which is stupid, since I still have more socialization than I ever had as just shades, but there you have it.  
AI: I would like to have someone living with me. Or move in with someone. 

AT: does a fucked-up partial version of your alternate selfs bros alternate self count as someone or nah 

AI: As in, would I live with you if given the chance? Yes, definitely.  
AI: Although I'd like to make the slight amendment that the two alternates in that statement cancel each other out, leaving it as my bro counts as someone I'd be up to be roommates with. 

AT: good  
AT: might make it a little easier to remember who and when and where you are if i can remind you 

AI: I think I'd like that.  
AI: Although just to warn you, I've been informed that Dirk's hard to live with, so I probably will be too. 

AT: dude i have memories of living with the guy who was the reigning champ of hard to live with guys and i survived him for thirteen years  
AT: youre a nice dude  
AT: youll be a piece of cake  
AT: just be prepared for feathers everywhere and me making a nest out of every soft thing available on my bad days 

AI: That sounds interesting. 

AT: annoying is the word that john uses  
AT: go fuck yourself is the combination of words i usually reply to him with  
AT: ill apologize for stealing your shit for nesting but no fucking way am i apologizing for making nests in the first place 

AI: Well, neither apology should be necessary. If clothes or blankets are lying in the open, they're free game so long as you don't plan on mutilating them. 

AT: i dont 

AI: Fabulous. If these are the biggest issues we have with each other, we should get along perfectly. 

AT: pffft im pretty sure ill come up with a fuckton more reasons youll have problems with me but hopefully itll still work out okay right 

AI: Well. I'm definitely willing to try and make it work out, yes.  
AI: So you'll come move in at some point in the near future, then? 

AT: fuck yeah my dude  
AT: eta of soon 

AI: Awesome.  
AI: See you then. And hey, thanks. 

AT: no problem dude 

avianiteTurning is offline  
artificialIntellect is offline

**Author's Note:**

> specifically written for imlovehal because I love them


End file.
